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Tag Archives: simon

the doctor weighs in

This is the conversation we had before Simon became a doctor. Go figure. SIMON. If you died, I would become that. THE GIRL. What? SIMON. Him. THE GIRL. Who? SIMON. That lying down cyclist. We stare as the lying down cyclist passes at a clip. THE GIRL. You would submit Elsie to that? SIMON. She [...]

simon says the winner is…

MC! MC is the winner. I’m declaring it. No edits, no drafts, no revisions. Done is done. Send. Cookies have found a home. Yes. The satisfaction I feel in this moment. The chewy chocolate chip pecan cookies belong to her. Wait…maybe I’m making too much of this. Actually, this could be a chapter. Fuck eroonazole. [...]

it’s caption time…yes…yes…yes!

It’s time for another caption contest! So…what caption should be scrawled across this picture? This time Simon will be the judge. Know that your comment could be just the thing that keeps him from crawling under his desk and weeping from the anxiety of it all. He is looking for humour! Oh yes, and the [...]

fantabulous from the airport

FOR THE WEEK OF MARCH 8-14 WHAT I’M READING: Seventeen dollars worth of magazines. Simon was appalled. I’m like, that’s only three magazines – one of which was NOT People’s. I read it at the cash. And anyway, how can you read a book on the plane with Elsie and her many needs, which seem [...]

welcome to the cruel world, elsie. good thing you have rock hard abs. that will help.

Dear Elsie, You only have one grandma now, a fact that has been making me quite low of late. A little less weighty is the fact that you are developing rock hard abs through your Elsie version of a crunch. You lift your head (which is probably more than half your body weight – so [...]

fantabulous in regina

For the week of March 1-7: WHAT I’M READING: A French novel, Lignes de faille by Nancy Huston. I read this novelist for the first time in University. But somehow reading with the knowledge that I will be writing NO paper has made me love her even more. What a precocious protagonist, that Sol! Nope, [...]

theatre buddies

in loving memory of Marianne Alfred

Simon’s mother passed away suddenly on Sunday evening. She was an astonishingly brave woman, having battled a number of serious health conditions throughout her life. This is a photo I took while Simon’s parents were visiting us in California. The three of them just happened to turn up in yellow, which made for a perfect [...]

orgasmic espresso

Today I interviewed my husband about his espresso obsession, an obsession I find vaguely sexy. I think it’s the expert factor. I tend to idolize other people’s knowledge, particularly every single one of my male professors throughout my university career. It’s a weakness. THE GIRL: Honey, why do you love espresso? THE HUSBAND: Part of [...]

5 random wednesday thoughts, one snippet, and one confession

1. I miss the event of the ants. The hornet in the bathroom is annoying, but not a story. 2. I am struck by the institution of The Crossing Guard. People helping other people cross the street. This still exists? 3. My cat snores louder than my baby. 4. New favorite drink: lemon, hot water, [...]