The Girl Who Learned To Kneel

I have been silent for the last two weeks. Mostly because I have been drowning in fatigue. And I’ve had other things to do—which is good. Good because having other things to do suggests I have a life. And if you’ve been keeping up with my struggles, you’ll know that having a life that is all my own and separate from my baby is very important to me. I risk saying that out loud lest I sound ungrateful, or worse, like an unloving mother. But I trust you readers, believing you can handle my honesty, ’cause if you couldn’t you probably would have deserted long ago.

So some of these other things included doing a Metro corporate video. (Metro being the Quebec based grocery chain which bought out Dominion. Any more questions about Metro? ‘Cause I am your girl. I have seen where they store their olives. And by the way, Kraft Dinner now makes crackers. I stared at them for a good twenty minutes waiting for…come to think of it, I don’t know what we were waiting for. That’s part of the deal when you’re working with a team of sixteen. You wait. Though if you love the nitty gritty of the work, then the waiting isn’t so bad. I actually appreciate the space to think or when I get bored of my own mind, do what I do best…ask questions. Gosh darnit, I love the comradery of making movies! Corporate ones, student ones, the ones that are actually commercials and not movies at all. Those are fun too. But I seriously digress.)

I’ve been away and all of sudden I’m having an outpouring of words.

Okay, back to my Metro corporate video, which meant spending two days inside the grocery store reading off of a teleprompter, eating Metro sushi and drinking green juice. Green juice because she asked me if I wanted anything special to eat or drink ’cause we were in a grocery store after all! To which I replied, well, yes, I’ll have a green juice since you’re offering. That would be very special. Thank you. (I wouldn’t want you to miss out on the important details of my Metro experience.)

More importantly, this gig meant money, which is a very good thing. I am establishing myself as an income earner in this family too. Not that’s it’s a competition between Simon and me or anything. No way.

Anyhoo.

Also of note about this Metro corporate video (how many times can I say Metro corporate video in one blog post?), I kicked the teleprompter’s ass. Really I did. The director told me. But I knew it ‘way before he said it. Sometimes you just know. I rock at…this. I don’t usually brag so overtly. But when you discover a new skill, sometimes you need to tell the world. And you, my readers, are my world. The Metro woman in charge wearing the really cute floral fanny pack also said that when they saw me on tape, they just knew I was the Assistant Store Manager. And I think they were right. When I saw myself on camera in that little black blazer with the Metro red pouf (that’s what they call it—a pouf. You could call it a tie. But why would you if you could call it a pouf?), I was similarly convinced. I am the Assistant Store Manager. I am she.

So if you get a job at Metro in the near future, and are forced to learn via video, I will be your teacher in this netherworld. I will be the one illuminating you about how hot food needs to stay hot, and cold food needs to stay cold. And…you will believe me. You will be utterly convinced about the importance of wearing a bandage when you cut your finger. Because, let me tell you, open wounds are simply not acceptable around food preparation. I would know. I am the Metro Assistant Store Manager you see in your dreams.

Yeah, this was a long post about something as seemingly insignificant as doing a Metro corporate video. But remember, some days I don’t leave the house at all. I just follow Elsie from room to room and agonize about the status of her butt rash.