The Girl Who Learned To Kneel

It is so hard to write now that my baby is mobile and no longer an attractive plant. I try desperately to distract her with the television, but she refuses to give Oprah the attention she deserves. Don’t you know you’re watching the most powerful woman in the world?

On another note, I have a little crush. The object of my crush: Jian Ghomeshi from CBC’s the Q. Okay crush might be too strong. I like his radio. Mind you, he’s probably a total nerd in person. Thus I will not search his image. He shall remain my mystery man. Le Jian mystérieux. Oh la, la.

Never mind, I looked. My vanity prevailed, and now I am saddened.

To make matters worse, radio man disappointed this morning doing his thing. He let an arrogant British author control the interview and didn’t display his Jian Ghomeshi balls. What happened to your balls? This author was discounting all religious belief as bogus and proclaiming that religion only hurts morality. Yet when asked what he considers ‘living a good life’ replied, “Laughing at other people’s misfortunes.” Maybe laughing at people’s misfortunes hurts morality more, um…?

Where were you Jian?

It was his British accent, wasn’t it? The British accent always wins, particulalry when combined with a confident rhetoric. The actual content of the argument: irrelevant. A Canadian is simply no match for a self-possessed Brit.

Your retractable balls might have hurt our relationship, Jian. Yes, I am fickle. And no, fickleness is not a Canadian trait. Don’t try and change the subject. We were talking about you. I don’t have balls. Neither does Oprah, but she does know how to stand her ground.

Don’t cry, I’m sure you can win me back.

For now, I must be off. My plant needs tending.