Today I interviewed my husband about his espresso obsession, an obsession I find vaguely sexy. I think it’s the expert factor. I tend to idolize other people’s knowledge, particularly every single one of my male professors throughout my university career. It’s a weakness.
THE GIRL: Honey, why do you love espresso?
THE HUSBAND: Part of the whole coffee idea is the time that surrounds it. It’s an excuse to be alone. Or it’s a social event, a time to be with people. And I got to the point where I could distinguish taste. So now, I’m always trying to find the perfect shot.
THE GIRL: What’s the perfect shot?
THE HUSBAND: It’s different for everyone. But it has to do with the perfect heat, amount of crema, taste, balance…
THE GIRL: What are your favourite flavours?
THE HUSBAND: I like the deeper notes, the chocolate, caramely, dark berries. It’s almost like entertainment. You know how you can go to the theatre and it does nothing to you, but it can still be a pleasant experience…that’s why I like a Caffe Luxxe shot. It’s so overwhelming, the flavours are so intense. It’s kind of a rolling, tingling…it does something to you.
THE GIRL: This Caffe Luxxe shot sounds downright orgasmic?
THE HUSBAND: At some level. When any one of your senses is overwhelmed, the experience can venture into that territory! But frankly, I’m kind of a coffee snob now. Most shots don’t elicit that kind of delight.
THE GIRL: That’s unfortunate. By the way, should we open a cafe togehter?
THE HUSBAND: Sure, when we’re super wealthy and looking for something to do.
THE GIRL: So I should start scouting locations then?
2 Comments
I used to be able to differentiate between every type of cola that was on the market. Man I could tell if it was coke or if it was pepsi. Sometimes someone would try to slip a surprise on me and slip me some RC cola, but I used to drink that as a kid so I knew the taste. I was a freaking cola expert I tell ya.
But what does it do for me, nothing. Because unlike coffee, the experts have not realized the subtle flows of carbonation that passes across the tongue before the taste of that dark sweet syrupy taste soaks into the taste buds. Everyone gets wrapped up in the tingle. They all go ew and ah not tasting the complex layers that shift on down the pallet.
Am I upset because you think Simon is a coffee expert, DAMN RIGHT. Because I am stuck here drinking this horrible sludge they call coffee at my work. Upset and jealous that you have the time to visit coffee shops. I have to go now, I see a corner I want to curl up into.
There’s a perfect location at the top of Eleventh and Lakeshore that has just been renovated…just for you two it would seem!!!
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