The Girl Who Learned To Kneel

5 Comments

1. Steve L. wrote:

   911 Operator: 911, what is the nature of your emergency?

   Male caller (later identified as ‘Ken’): Yes you have to help me, my girl friend just got grabbed by this giant grubby kid.

   911 Operator: A kid sir? As in a goat?

   Ken: No, no, no… a kid as in a child. She must be close to 35 feet high. She’s a monster, I know this sounds insane but you have to believe me. I can still see her running down the beach. Oh God NO, she just threw her down into the sand… (panting sounds) I’m trying to get to her (panting) Oh good the monster is running away. (panting) I’m almost there…

   911 Operator: Sir? Sir? Can you hear me, where is this ‘child’? Is your girl-friend out of danger?

   Ken: (sounds of crying)

   911 Operator: Sir? Sir? An ambulance is on the way, just hang on. Sir? Sir, can you hear me?

   Ken: (loud crying and incoherent mumbling)… Oh Barbie, why did this have to happen now? What we had planned, our life together, oh baby just hang on the ambulance is coming. Oh baby…

   Police after action report, Lt. Games reporting:

   As seen in the evidence photo, one Caucasian female (Barbie Mattel) was found half buried in the beach. Suspect was found crying over the body and mumbling something about a giant child. After blood tests confirmed the presence of several hallucinate drugs were in his system, Ken Doll was taken in for questioning and eventually charged with 2nd degree manslaughter.

   Case Closed.

   Monday, October 20, 2008 at 12:52 pm | Permalink
2. Steve L. wrote:

   BTW today is the last day to register to vote in California for the general election.

   http://www.sos.ca.gov/nvrc/fedform/

   Monday, October 20, 2008 at 1:40 pm | Permalink
3. The Girl wrote:

   Steve, that little excerpt there is freakin hilarious.

   And I am already registered to vote!

   Monday, October 20, 2008 at 2:35 pm | Permalink
4. Steve L. wrote:

   Cool, because watching the American election is so much better than the little Canadian one we just had.

   Glad you enjoyed the little interlude.

   Monday, October 20, 2008 at 6:42 pm | Permalink
5. Heather wrote:

   steve hilarious. also agree about election. just heard about latest polls… i ACTUALLY got off the couch and did a little dance. i cant remember the last time i got EXCITED about anything even remotely related to politics. at. all.

   i teased nat about having a sticker on the back of her car supporting a certain political party, which i must now apologize for… because if i had a car… i’d get a sticker.

   i wonder where i can get a button or something? or a flag? or t-shirt? a sandwhich board? anyone?

   xo

   Monday, October 20, 2008 at 8:12 pm | Permalink

Post a Comment