The Girl Who Learned To Kneel

Okay, I promise this will be my last ‘ants’ post, because I realize the topic is getting old. But I wanted to at least share our new way of thinking about them…it’s NOW…a chess match. They make a move (find a new hole…), we make a move (apply more caulking). They make a move (find a new gateway…), we make a move (seal off another baseboard…with more caulking). Caulking is key to the game. And trust me, it’s ‘way more fun to turn it into a game. Cause they’re never going to go away completely. I have come to terms with that sad fact! But we can minimize their movement…and scouting efforts. AND you cry ‘way less.

This chess game approach arose as a rebuttal to traps—the traps I inadvertently bought which did exactly what I was fearing with the borax/sugar/bread method. They called out every ant in the apartment complex, as well as ants from neighboring regions, and they all partied with our poison. It was disgusting and I really did cry.

Since cleaning up the traps, we have moved to a more symbiotic living arrangement. We know you’re there, ants. We accept that this is your abode also. We’re just bigger and we don’t want to see you.

We feel satisfied with our latest move (almost a checkmate), which involved caulking all of the kitchen cupboards from left to right. Our system: I accost Simon with the latest news when he gets home from work: “The ants are coming out of THIS hole!” He inspects, then gives me the nod! We jump into action. I take everything out of the cupboards while Simon puts on hospital pants and his Ireland hat and prepares the caulking gun. (And by the way, he’s refusing to get into gear so I can take a picture!) We’re a united front. We battle the ants as husband and wife. An impenetrable team.

Tonight we caulk every inch of the front door.