The Girl Who Learned To Kneel

1. Simon and I realized we only have one toy for Elsie here in Riverside. Sassy. So we were brainstorming other possible “toys” in the apartment. Here’s what we came up with: Simon’s tools (namely the hammer), plastic bags, the empty borac acid bottle, tacks and other things that could easily slip down her throat. Somehow lying in bed we found this list inordinately funny. Sick, aren’t we? I think maybe we were delirious from having eaten too much cheddar cheese. Not a staple item in our diet.

2. We have started waking up early to go for meditational walks. Okay, we’ve done it precisely three times. We walk through the Box Spring Mountains. Sounds invigorating, don’t you think? Indeed, there are rabbits and ant colonies and lots of rugged hills to take my breath away. Simon calls me preggo extraordinaire cause I can still do it…though I kind of think he should reserve judgment until after the birth.

We deemed today’s walk our first triumph. On day one we were attacked by the rising sun, which made us both very grumpy. On day two we were followed by stray dogs, which made ME very grumpy. Today there were no dogs and we both had sunglasses. Success. I even prayed.

3. I read a beautiful short story yesterday sitting in Borders beside a little Cambodian man eating his Wendy’s hamburger. Don’t remember the name of the story, but it’s the first one in Jhumpa Lahiri’s collection, Interpreter of Maladies. It probably wasn’t the best thing to be reading at this stage of my journey, but I couldn’t put it down. The story revolves around a husband and wife who have suffered the tragic loss of their baby, born dead. They retreat into silence, essentially living seperate lives. One day they receive a notice saying their power will be shut off every night for the next week. This event rekindles something, and they end up sharing their deepest secrets over candlelight dinners. When the power goes back on…I guess I shouldn’t tell you the end…just the last line, okay?

“They stood weeping for what they now knew.”

I couldn’t hold back the tears myself. For what I now know? I don’t know. Just crying. Because good art makes you cry if you let it.

4. I ordered bread online. I am so excited. There’s a bakery in Ann Arbor, Michigan that “supplies the best of the world’s most delicious products.” So says Marion Nestle in her book: What To Eat. Okay, fine Ms. Nestle, I’ll listen to you this time. It is only fitting that nine days before my due date I should partake of the best bread the world has to offer.

5. This is the season for DELICIOUS heirloom tomatoes in California. I’m learning to whistle. Simon only has to breathe the word ‘bitter’ and we get our espressos for free. And I recently heard a mother utter this piece of brilliance to a child wanting to finish her cartoon: “Make it up in your brain…what happens. It will be better in your brain anyway.” Satisfaction. The creation of an artist.