Simon was going crazy tonight at dinner, like jittery crazy. He hadn’t had a coffee all day, so basically he wasn’t in his right mind. He goes from one extreme to the other these days. One day he’s hard core detoxing. The next day he’s drinking thirteen shots of espresso. What is a wife to do? He knocked over his water at the pizza parlor, and was clearly having trouble carrying on a conversation. In his words, “Either I get a coffee, or I watch Olympics in a trance ’till I fall asleep.”
Now with one shot in him he’s dissecting his sequence. He still looks kind of crazy, mouthing GAAAATAGCAAATG…(he can only use an A, T, C or G – the four letters for DNA. Um, yeah, they correspond to the nucleotides of DNA. Am I smart or what?), but it’s a productive crazy. And how we love to be productive. ‘Cause did I mention we’re still looking for his gene? No need for concern. We’re very close. We can feel it.
And by the way, we don’t find, we look.
Speaking of coffee…though my day started off well with the kick-ass Intellegentisa brew, it quickly spiralled down, down, down. I had an appointment at WIC – ‘The Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children.’ I had been avoiding this appointment since March, but decided on a whim that I could do my part and contribute to our financial woes through…food stamps! Plus, I had seen something on the WIC website about farmer’s market vouchers. Too good to be true? Yes.
I ended up watching a condescending video and listening to an ignorant nutrionist tell me that I don’t need to eat organic because that’s where E.coli comes from. Organic food is dirty, dummy. What I should be eating is hormone filled milk and cheese, and oh yeah, any cereal made by Kellogs.
And oh yeah, breast-feeding is easy. If one woman can do it, so can you.
And oh yeah, poverty is degrading. For everyone.
Let’s get back to Simon. He’s ‘way more fun and he looks hot when he’s concentrating on DNA. He’s starting to get excited now about the weekend, when the Intellegentsia beans will be at their prime!
Maybe coffee makes life better. For everyone.
5 Comments
Stick to your fancy coffee organic food and forget the food stamps! One month before a baby is due is no time to take on the world!
Keep going for those limited letters of the alphabet, Simon. Thankfully I have more to work with here.
p.s. I know a good web site that has some good suggestions:
enableyourhealth.com
I was wondering if Simon was sprouting a gremlin. But I think I know what’s happening now.
we were all wondering, marie!
I didn’t have enough coffee today (in fact, not even a full cup) and barely made it home on the 401 – tell Si I feel it with him…and by the way, I agree with mom.
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