1) Josh and Dee’s dog. It has been barking for many hours now. Not unlike the barking I heard this morning at 6:45 when I was desperate for a few more minutes of sleep. In fact, I think it’s the same gosh-darn barking! I’m thinking I might have to go outside and flip my lid in the parking lot a la Margaret. She certainly got our attention. But before I officially make a scene, I will resort to calling the dog’s name angrily out the window: “Sparticus, you Imp! Sparticus! Shut up. Pleeeaaasssee shut up so I can sit on my lazyboy in peace.”
2) The march of the ants. They refuse to depart. I think they are living in the dishwasher.
3) LA traffic. Yes, I sat in traffic today for 2 hours coming home from LA. My film class ends at the most atrocious hour: 4:30 pm, whereupon I must convene with the rest of suburbia on the 60 East.
4) 90 degree weather, knowing it’s only getting hotter. People generally laugh if I risk a complaint: “You think this is hot? You haven’t seen hot.” Thanks for sharing people. Your sick jokes humor not the Canadian pregnant lady who is missing snow.
5) Gas. All kinds. In all its forms. The price of gas. The gas that comes out of Simon’s body now that he has taken to re-indulging his coffee practice! He claims his dirty butt smells come from detoxification. But I am questioning these detox habits which haven’t necessitated any sacrifice or change. Um…
6) Simon informs me that there is a 6th thing that ‘really’ makes me flip my lid. (I think he’s a bit sensitive about this one.) Apparently when he talks to me as I am drifting off to the land of slumber, my responses are less than kind. Apparently I am gruff and unladylike. Note I always try and redeem myself with a quick “I love you” before shutting down completely.
I am going to have to videotape Simon’s ‘almost asleep when spouse wants to chat’ habits and show him our likeness.
7) Goodwin’s piano music. But this is understood.
(Please ignore the irritating smiley face. I did not put it there. It’s a WordPress conspiracy which is preventing me from inserting an ’8′ and, as such, causing me to flip my lid this very instant. How apropos.) Number eight) Dee’s music. He really likes to sing along to music theatre numbers OR Mariah Carey. It’s cute for about a minute. Here’s what I’m playing many times over in response: Moving, shaking by Great Lake Swimmers. Simon calls it ‘depresso music’ – my favorite kind! Poor Josh and Dee. They don’t even know I am harboring such loathing.
Apartment living requires much grace.
p.s. Okay, I guess it was 8 + 1 = 9 reasons to flip my lid.
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